Rhythm of Life

These days, every time I think about Christmas approaching, I feel 'off kilter', or maybe a little confused. This morning it finally occurred to me why I feel this way. In my mind, it makes the most sense if I put it into musical terms: The underlying pulse, the rhythm of my life is changing. I would like to be able to say it has changed, but I don't think I would be feeling so 'off beat' if that were the case.

Here's what I mean.

In Canada, my life beat to the drum of the seasons. Winter, spring, summer, fall, winter, spring, summer, fall. I come from a farming family, so maybe this rings truer to me than to most, but I know that when snow melts and spring starts to show her face, that the time of planting, has come, because deep within me, I know that all too soon, the snow will be on us again. I know that summer is the time to enjoy fresh food, to savour long evenings, to go to the beach, camp, or sit in the backyard with people you love. Fall is the time to harvest and store up, because we know what lies ahead. It's a time of canning, preserving, returning to routine. Winter is a time of rest. The short days and long nights tell us to slow down. Even the soil rests, and we hope that we produced enough to take us through. (ok, today we can go to the grocery store and get everything we need!)

This is the rhythm I have known my entire life.

In Brazil, especially where we live, there is no rhythm of seasons, because there are no seasons. So the rhythm of life is different. Here the rhythm beats to the day. People live each day unto itself because they know that tomorrow will most likely be the same as yesterday was. There is always fresh food. There is always warmth. Preserving is not necessary. Storing up is not necessary.

I'm not entirely sure how to reconcile this rhythm around me and the rhythm within me.

 I know that Christmas is just around the corner. The calendar tells me so. But I feel lost, not having gone through the motions of fall. Where is the snow? Where are the short days? My metronome, the signs I look for in nature are not here.

I can't help but wonder how these two rhythms are going to play together. Will I always feel the two distinct beats? Will they always be at odds, or can I learn to dance to them both, together? My hope is that they will eventually create a new and beautiful song.

But only time will tell.